My trust in you

I put my trust in you I always have. You have been kind, thoughtful a true gentleman. Teaching me patience through your methodical blessings. Not too much, not too soon.

But I plead with you Lord. Not this!

Don’t take away the one thing that has uplifted me in the last few months. I go through dark tunnels, intimacy is a craving that I deprive myself from.

The taste of love bitter to my mouth but a much needed bitter. That once it navigates to my body dulls all negative anticipations that I had of him.

Him whom I love but can’t have. For he is a servant of the Lord who can’t commingle with the wicked.

A prince whom you’ve prepared for your army. May I be worthy of a morsel.
Just a taste of love, a trickle. That I may feel what wakes people up in the morning, rushes them to bed at night.

The thing poets write about and scientist can’t seem to discover.
That love that keeps you going fuels your soul.

Upon my self discovery I have found it to be hard to love but more so due to lack for love of self. So I give myself to you…..yet again.

So you can do with me as you wish.
As I pray and fast today for peace, concentration and love, ask you to bless the readers of this writing.

To make me worthy for that man of God whom makes my mouth water at his very sight. Whom can make me forget all my flaws. Whom I want to spend time alone with and enjoy all his quirks and many stories.

A man whom you’ve loved since he was a child protected him from all his wrong doings……..

I give my body to you so you can prepare me for this man. Lover of Christ. Who worships you in spirit and in truth.

No other man can love she that kneels for forgiveness of things she can’t change. With the most expensive oils and fragrance I wash thy feet. My offerings, that represent my guiltiest pleasures I give up.

For I tempted you and you punished me. I toyed with your emotion’s and got kicked to the wayside. Replaced in a heartbeat. For a woman who shows no kindness can be as good as salt to the ocean water.

But we serve a lord who is just and fair, that in spite of not being needed you can surely be wanted.


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